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Forgiveness is the most tender part of love. - John Sheffield

Have you ever just been upset, argued, and cried so much that after your eyes burned, you ached, and just felt so completely wiped out! Well tonight was one of those nights! Yesterday my Dad was acting 'Fucked-up' (I quote the words I used) and I called him on it. Needless to say that never plays out well. I tried to talk to him about it last night, see if we could work it out and that blew up in my face! Making a long story short I basically told him fine that if he didn't want to talk out our 'problem' then just don't talk to me. So today the NO talking was going OK, meaning he wasn't talking to me. He also was into it with Kathy too! But because he had to go pay the rent (which hopefully they will still accept the rent). Well Kathy of course was tiffed about him picking her up but then I guess he started trying to chit-chat with her, acting as if nothing had happened and well that pissed her off! And to top it all off I guess because I had told him earlier that he needs to tell me that he took money out of our bank account, mainly for the fact that I was thinking of stopping there and getting it for him anyways. But I guess he had told Kathy yesterday that he was going to and she forgot to mention it and he was to her like why didn't she tell me! So shit hit the FAN and she was pissed came home slamming doors, and apparently threw the keys back at him instead of handing them to him. Lots of Anger and lots of tears I tell you! Then later on I forget how it all started, but I started getting into it with him again because of some shit and it was back and fourth! Why can't he understand that I am the type of person who likes to talk things through, the type of person who like to try and understand, find reasoning, and resolve! I am so SICK of spending my life pretending NOTHING happened! A lot of hateful things were said and I swear I could just feel so much HATE coming off of him! He cannot apologize to save his life and has to be the biggest DAMN liar that I have ever known! I have been through HELL and high water with that man. And some might even say I should hate him, but I don't. I love him, and I try to be forgiving! Although it gets really hard when someone continues to repeat the same behavior over and over again. Maybe somethings have to do with the way her was raised, him being abused, drugs... I don't know, all I know is I feel sometimes we are paying the price. I know I am an adult and I could just be gone, (well if I could afford it anyways) but I do love my parents, I love the time we get to have together - just not all the other crap! -Blah- Not to mention I totally feel pre-menstrual and we all know that isn't exactly a walk in the park! Speaking of Periods, it is 19 years to the day (May 22, 1991) that I first started my period! LOL Not sure if that is extremely weird that I remember that, but I do! Any-who, I have to get up early to take Kathy to work so I suppose I better try and get some sleep! And take another Benadryl because this DAMN rash is itching and annoying the crap out of me! And you know I am terrible and have to scratch it! Bad, very bad! double -Blah- :/

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i'm sorry ya had to go through all that drama hon -hughug- you know you can call me any time you need to vent or what have you. miss you love you, take care xoxo

Thank you for being my girl and I know I can always call ya and love you xoxoxoxo

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