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I'm Back!
Edward
fatevictim
Wow I am here -- it has been a long time! Time is a very funny thing and I would swear that as the older you get the quicker it seems to go by. Speaking of time I have has a lot of time lately. I had back surgery July 8th and have been recovery since. So no work, have to be in a back brace if I am anywhere but in bed -- no bending, twisting, lifting ... nothing. I am not really sure how I feel about it, I guess you can say it is a love-hate/bittersweet thing. I mean it is always nice to have time, to be able to rest and just do the things you want or nothing at all. Who wouldn't love that, right!? But then there are parts of you that want to say 'you know your so called freedom is just a closet full of limitations', then comes the frustrations -- the bitter-hate that wants to be able to freakin' reach something when I want it that I can't, not have to wear a back brace! The back brace isn't all that bad, you even get somewhat used to it after a while. And I know it's all for the best and I do not regret having surgery because even though I am still in pain, still taking pain meds it has helped. I see my Doctor again Jan. 19th so who knows maybe then there will be more bone growth and I won't even have to wear the brace anymore. You never know. Although I have to say I am not all that thrilled about the thought of going back to work, I suppose most people would feel this way -- love/hate, something else to add to the my anxiety. Sometimes I wish I could just turn my mind off, like a switch, that would be nice. So I am here, I am back because I want to be and because I think I need to be. And with that said it is getting late and I have a headache and should probably get to bed anyways.

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